What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Why did Obito, a supposed "bad person," do good things for Kakashi?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

What's the biggest myth about illegal immigrants?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

TEXT:

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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Make Nazis afraid again!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Can I see some saggy tit pics and huge areolas pics?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.